A Case for Feelings in Faith and Medicine

A good doctor is not merely someone who can diagnose accurately and cure diseases, but someone who treats the person behind the disease. As the usually quoted aphorism goes, a physician

cures sometimes, relieves often, comforts always.

Medicine is not just the science that aims to eliminate illnesses, it is the art of communicating with people in the manner that addresses their interests. To me, this second part is more than a job. It is a command, the way of life to which I am called:

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Phil 2:3-4

But what does it mean? The bible does not expand on this, but medicine does and its standards does not fall short, so I adopt it. It requires stepping back from one’s natural responses and one’s own self-centered biases in order to see another person with compassion and treat them accordingly. This includes tremendous consideration of the other person’s feelings more than your own.

Surprisingly, there’s a lot of room for feelings in medicine. More than being rational, feeling is human. Try as we might to fight them, feelings can determine actions, and obscure perspectives. Feelings, for instance, are the primary reason why patients consult. They do not consult because of their symptoms--which is supposedly the rational thing to do-- but rather because of the anxiety that arises from their symptoms. That is, they would not ask for help until the symptoms start to scare them or keep them from their usual function. This fear may manifest in different forms, and combining with their symptoms, sometimes even becomes the hindrance for the medical practitioner (or other people, in general) to treat the patient well. In the same way, the medical practitioner’s own feelings may lead them to snap at the patient, seeing him not in his suffering, but for his annoyance. It is something for which to watch out. And so, for better health outcomes, the management of feelings is necessary.

There’s also room for feelings in Christianity. Even though it is taught to follow faith rather than feelings, scripture acknowledges how feelings may control a person’s response. How many times does it command to fear not and be still? Many a passage command to rejoice. How many times has anguish led people to seek the Lord? How many times has grief turned into repentance? In the same way, how many times has suffering blinded people from His Beauty? How many times have feelings provoked one to sin? Feelings may even be sin themselves. Hence, they are powerful things, not to be trifled with, or handled carelessly, lest cause another to stumble (1 Cor 8:9; Rom 14:13, 21).

So what does it mean to care about another person's feelings? It’s not about holding feelings more important than truth. It’s about directing feelings in order to make room for truth and straighten out muddled perception. It’s about using truth to correct feelings and mistaken perception. It’s an act of love, an act of mercy, and act of grace, seeking the interest of the person (Phil 2:4). It’s actually caring about the person and making this concern apparent. Both are necessary, for to what extent is the success of the first, if done so carelessly? As Manang Fe (from Be Careful With My Heart) once said, “ang magandang intensyon ay nababalewala, kung mali ang paraan kung pa’no ito ipakita.” And what kind of concern is to be expressed if it is done so without sincerity? People can tell. Failure in one is failure in the other.

Most of the time, feelings distort how we perceive truth, and this perception leads to other mistaken emotions. The same way, unclarified truth may produce unnecessary feelings, and these feelings lead to the complete distortion of truth. Correcting this would require a significant amount of explaining, more listening, some probing, and an unlimited supply of patience and tenderness from the Holy Spirit. And it works both ways. Trying to understand another person not only serves their interest, but also your own sake-- helping you manage your own feelings toward them, building up your compassion, instead of irritation, for instance.

The more directed we are to the particulars of the person’s concern, the better are the feelings addressed. As Pastor John Piper points out, “Part of your power is not only what you say, but how they feel about the way you listen. If your truth produces empathetic ears, it will feel more compelling.” (2 Tim 2:24–26) Most of the time, people just really need help to understand, and the only way to help them is to first understand their plight.

Sometimes, the person is too distraught that it’s easier for us to turn away and leave them to their misery, but we are commanded to count them more significant than our own comfort (Phil 2:3). As Pastor John again points out, the point is not whether the person deserves it but “will you count them as worthy of your help and encouragement? Not are they worthy? But will you count them as worthy?” If we must really turn away, at least we ought to do so in a manner that does not add insult to injury. Remember that every person who asks for help or confides in us puts himself in a very vulnerable position while we are placed in a position of power-- power that we may not have sought, but, nevertheless, demands our responsibility (Luke 12:48). It is unkind to subject the weak to further, unnecessary pain.

It would be nice to think that if people really cared, it would just show. But that’s not always the case. People may genuinely care, but not know how to express it well. For this reason, medical school teaches how, step by step, from the nonverbal cues to active listening. It is a skill to be acquired through training, a skill that, if only people knew and applied in their own lives, will lead to better and deeper personal relationships. And as far as it accords with scripture, it’s training in righteousness.