A Dialogue on Unconditional Love

A: It's about reciprocation. It's obvious that unconditional love is the greatest love of all. The ideal. What we should aim for, as it models God's love for us. But is it wrong to hope for reciprocation? Is it unbiblical to want to also receive the kind of love one gives?

A Critique of Reviews

Book reviews reveal more about the reviewer than the book itself. So it goes with other materials critiqued like movies, food, reports, papers, students.

Pop culture as shared contexts

I used to hate mainstream, thinking that if it mattered to the majority, chances are, it isn't so valuable in the end. Trends are fleeting, and people'd tire of them, their interests captured not for the value of the thing in itself, but the fact that it was attractive to many. With that in mind, I only checked things out when they're already considered laos. 

Ang Tanong ni Kia: Mnemonic para sa Type I at Type II Errors

Dalawang taon na ang nakararaan, may tanong ang kaibigan kong si Kia:

"Anong mas masakit na pagkakamali: Yung Type 1 error wherein you conclude that a relationship exists when in fact it doesn't OR Type 2 error where there is really a relationship but you fail to recognize it."

Isang paghihimay dito ang aking tinangka sa isang pinaglumaang sulok. Babalikan natin ito ngayon hindi upang muling sagutin, kundi upang paghugutan ng hindi bagong distinksyon.

From the Low End of the Bell Curve: Reflections on Medical Education

Two years ago, the release of the results of the my very first exam as a medical student began my disillusionment— not with myself, but with the medical curriculum, as it violates almost every article I've read on the effective learning: that learning should be spaced out, that learning should not be driven soley by exams, that taking frequent breaks are essential in absorption of a material, that the meaningfulness and relevance of a material aids in memory. . . Medical school, as we know it, is fast-paced, exam-centric, stressful, and detail-oriented to the point of meaninglessness.

Confession and Consultation: A Subtle Analogy

A friend comes to you and confesses, "I did something wrong. . ." and this wrong thing may range a wide spectrum: from an unintended neglect to an intentional act, from harming one's self to harming another, from a minor sin (if there is such a thing) to a grave, moral offense. . . What would you say? How would you react? Should your reaction depend on the weight of the offense? Should it depend on who was wronged? Should you consider whether it was intentional or not? Does it matter which friend was confessing?

Before you say anything, I think these things are worth considering:

1. The person is confessing (James 5:16). They have began to recognize and agree that what they did was wrong. They likely already feel remorse. 
2. Confession is hard. It is exposing one's flaws, and insecurities. It is revealing one's heart, rendering one vulnerable. 
3. The person chose to tell you, of all people. They regard you as someone they can talk to. They trust you.

Questions About Legalism

I don't think I understand the concept of legalism. According to John Piper, it is a certain attitude about the Law, a heart issue: it is pursuing the Law with some other engine than faith. I suppose it is what they refer to as trying to earn your salvation by being good in the belief that being good is what saves-- as if God requires it in exchange for salvation, as if it were a price to pay. 

But the question remains, what does it mean to pursue the Law by faith? If one pursues the Law not in order to earn God's favor but just in the desire to live as commanded, a desire to follow, is it safe to say that the person is on the right track?

GotQuestions presents another possible meaning of legalism: the demand of a strict literal adherence to rules and regulations. I understand this to be a lot like legal positivism, the theory in jurisprudence stating that law as written is absolute, followed word-for-word, as if simply a matter of pure semantics. I suppose this is considered an error in so far as it reveals an attitude like that of the Pharisees, an attitude that is essentially opposed to grace. Underlying their demand for strict compliance was the belief that it is works that save, that we have to deserve our salvation.

So then, what does this entail regarding obedience to Law? Are Christians not supposed to follow everything commanded in Scripture? Are we allowed to say "hindi naman kailangan e" about certain laws, like that about the Sabbath? Is there indeed such as a thing as 'optional commands'? How are we to choose which of them to strictly abide and which to be lax about? Is it even a matter of choice? Is it legalism, then, to feel indignant when one deems that a brother/sister in Christ failed to act according to what the Law states? Is it legalism to feel frustrated that there is so much disagreement in these matters? 

Some Christians discourage the performance of a practice if one does not feel the Spirit's leading, as it is the Spirit that one ought to follow to avoid legalism. But what does this even mean? Is obedience then just a matter of "feeling like it"? Are we only to help one another when we feel like it? Are we excused from following when we don't feel inclined to do so? Is forcing one's self to be kind to an enemy being legalistic? Is sharing the gospel out of obligation rather than feeling inclined to being legalistic? Is limiting to the minimal requirement what one follows being legalistic?

Pastor John writes

Discipline is not legalism. Hard work is not legalism. Acting against carnal impulses is not legalism. They may be. But they may also be the torque of the engine of faith running on the fuel of the Spirit to the glory of the grace of God in a self-centered and undisciplined world.

But this still does not clarify much.

Is asking these very questions being legalistic? Can not wanting to be legalistic itself be legalistic?

Cure vs. Treat: An Anecdote

Back in college, some of my philosophy classes conducted “objective” exams. That is, they asked identification/enumeration questions, instead of essay ones, but you can protest and defend your answer if it is different from the answer key.

There’s this one particular item that still haunts me to this very day. It’s a question about an analogy between something in philosophy and medicine. I don’t remember the exact question, but I remember the answer: cure the patient. I wrote treat the patient and it was marked wrong. People asked. The instructor reasoned that treating someone is not the same as curing someone. Treating someone was more like how you treat others, she said, and she was looking to the removal of the disease, as what the word ‘cure’ means. This was enough to appease the complainants. But she was wrong.

She forgot to account that a word may have several meanings, and treat does have different meanings. We had been using the word equivocally. In fact, in medical jargon, the word treatment is used a lot more than cure.

I knew this all along, but I never said anything.

A Case for Feelings in Faith and Medicine

A good doctor is not merely someone who can diagnose accurately and cure diseases, but someone who treats the person behind the disease. As the usually quoted aphorism goes, a physician

cures sometimes, relieves often, comforts always.

Medicine is not just the science that aims to eliminate illnesses, it is the art of communicating with people in the manner that addresses their interests. To me, this second part is more than a job. It is a command, the way of life to which I am called:

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Phil 2:3-4

Reconsidering Mr. Tan's Faith

A few months ago, I wrote about the concept of faith that Amy Tan acquired from her parents, saying that both concepts of her mother and father assume that God’s will is to grant our wishes. Her mother was Chinese, who heavily believed in the Chinese concept of luck. Her father was a minister who wrote this as his definition of faith in his own journal:

Faith is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen. It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us even though we still cannot see it ahead of us.

I said that what Mr. Tan meant by “something we want” is exactly that, something we want, our own self-centered desires. But after reading this article about George Müller, I started to think that maybe I’ve misunderstood what Mr. Tan really meant, as I was reading him only through Amy’s interpretation. Perhaps I’ve harshly scrutinized what he said based on strict semantics-- an elitist error that merely intellectualizes, instead of seeking to understand or be understood-- when I should’ve looked first at the context. And here was the context:

Jean-Paul Sarte's Concept of Hell

He sums it up in four words: "Hell is other people!" And these words may be found in his play No Exit.

[SPOILER ALERT!]

On Filipino Translations

It's common to hear people complain when certain TV stations dub an English movie or an English TV show in Filipino. I was among those who were a bit squeamish when the Filipino translations of 50 Shades of Grey and Hunger Games came out, and it wasn't because of the novels themselves (although, of all popular young adult fiction, I cannot fathom why 50 Shades would be worth translating). I think it's the process itself, the translation of an English material into Filipino.

On Professional Fees and Principles

Conversations with non-medical (former) classmates about my (soon-to-be) profession are usually steered towards a discussion of specializations-- what I want, what they hope I'd be, and/or what they believe is most profitable (hence, I should consider). Sometimes, the people who nudge me towards profit are also those from whom I have heard constant grievances regarding outrageous hospital bills and medical fees. So I'm not quite sure what they're driving at. Are they condemning the system or are they encouraging me to be part of it? Perhaps both?

Amy Tan's Faith vs. Fate Dichotomy

Some years ago, a friend who knew I was into writing recommended that I read Amy Tan's memoir, The Opposite of Fate. This year, I finally did in hopes of appeasing my frustrations in writing fiction. I loved how she wrote the memoir that I decided to read The Joy Luck Club, her first book. I liked it, too, that it convinced me to learn chess. I learned that fiction writing did not necessarily mean use of only pure imagination (I suck at that) and one can start as old as I am and still be good at it (Amy Tan began even older!).

But there was one thing about both writings that struck me, and not in the good way: her faith vs. fate dichotomy.

There is this passage in The Joy Luck Club:

My mother believed in God's will for many years. It was as if she had turned on a celestial faucet and goodness kept pouring out. She said it was faith that kept all these good things coming our way, only I thought she said "fate," because she couldn't pronounce the "th" sound in "faith."

And later, I discovered that maybe it was fate all along, that faith was just an illusion that somehow you're in control.

Si Susie Pumasok Sa Pinto, Sa Door Pinto, Sa Door Pinto, Sa Front Door Pinto, Sa Front Door Pinto

Isa yang mnemonic na tinuturo sa pagkabisado ng electron configuration sa chem. Nagulat ako nung narinig ko iyan sa lecturer noong college sa UP noong nag-Chem ako kasi kilala ko kung sino ang gumawa niyan, mga kaklase ko noong third year high school habang chem class: yung kras ko at yung bespren niya.

The Lolo I Never Had

My Lolo at his best.  Jan. 4, 1997
I've always thought he was a handsome, old man, more handsome than in his youth,
and more handsome in his usual scrunched up, weird-smelling clothes. 

This was my lolo, Plaridel, the grandparent with whom I have the most memories. Memories of him consists of afternoon walks around the village with him walking backwards and his sweater worn backwards, or inside-out or both, peeling mangoes with our hands and wiping the stickiness on leaves, throwing macopa flowers at each other, playing in the backyard baha during rainy days, watching him cook rice with firewood under the makeshift shed he made his carpenter build, being spun in his office chair as transport to Quiapo, and feeling grossed out when he put the molted skin of an insect on his navel, saying he was breastfeeding it. 

He was a lawyer, and a queer man. His office and bedroom was a makeshift extension of our house, and looked pretty much like the houses of informal settlers. His files were kept in cut Tide boxes. His drawers had disgusting things no one wanted to touch. His bed smelled of him, the smell of an old person. Under his bed was a small, old hopia box with soil, where he would spit out phlegm. In his bookshelves, he kept a small pack of lemon drops, which I would try to find every now and then. And in one corner, very accessible to children, he kept the rifle he allegedly used in war. The place was dusty, had a weird smell, and was covered in agiw. He let us play there all the time. 

I liked playing with his office supplies-- the inks, the stamps, the staplers, the paper and all that magical paraphernalia that can do all sorts of things. I was allowed to play with his computer when I was, like, in kinder. It was Windows 95 with Solitaire as the only game I remember but couldn't understand, so I messed around with MS-DOS and learned how to use Microsoft Word. He also let us watch his TV whenever we wished, even though we had our own TV in the sala. He let us jump on and mess up his bed. He even let us use his drinking cups to build soil towers and mud cakes. 

We played a lot, but I don't remember talking. I was perhaps too young to talk substantially. He told stories, but only that one time I specifically asked to hear some. I don't even remember what they were about. He was gone by the time I could really talk about stuff.

Some answers to some questions on church, scripture and prayer

Some weeks ago, I made a friend read this article on salvation by John Piper. We had a very interesting conversation about it. He asked me questions I myself have asked a long time ago, but forgot all about. This time, somehow, I knew how to answer them. He thought my answers made sense, so I thought I'd share them here (translated and edited).

1. How do we enjoy the beauty of God/salvation? Can we really choose to enjoy/appreciate the beauty of something?

It's not a voluntary thing, I suppose. Except the part that you want it to happen so you do something about it. We ask it from God through prayer and study of Scripture. Usually, this is the time when the person is invited to church or to small groups because those also help. It is, then, God's work to open our eyes to the beauty through the Holy Spirit. It's akin to falling in love. You can spend so much time with someone until there comes a time when you just suddenly see the person differently. It may take a while, but we are asked to wait.

Popo

Popo's still missing. We aren't close, but I've known her since second grade, even before we were classmates. We've been classmates since the third grade until she moved to a different high school. We had called each other on the phone where I discovered her nickname is Nikki and she discovered mine is Geno. We teased each other every time we interacted, and she would have that mocking look on her face. She borrowed my Wild Thornberries shirt and never returned it, but I've always been fond of her. I made her write in all my slam books, which I still keep to this day. I used to know by heart her birthday. I still remember her full name. Her younger sister used to be my cadet, and we had fun times in high school. I know they have a younger sister, and it has always amused me (and most people I know) that they all look so much alike. I've seen their parents, and I know they look a lot like their mother.

We stopped talking in high school. But she's just too real. It's natural to feel this concerned.

Basha's Line

When I first watched One More Chance (2007), I was impressed with the dialogue. Not all of it, but in general. It's fun, witty, dramatic but not that cheesy-- a whole level classier than its contemporaries and predecessors. Except Trisha's lines which I hate.

Cannot even read this aloud without squirming!

My favorite is Basha's lines during her climactic confrontation with Popoy, particularly the last bit.

Last bit: sana ako pa rin, ako na lang, ako na lang ulit.
For full effects, watch this

An Uncanny Roster

UPCM Class 2019 has the silliest name duplications I have ever seen. It's like real life. People have the same names: those with exactly the same spelling and same pronunciation, those with different spellings but similar pronunciation, those that sound almost the same, those with the male and female versions.

We have four Migs(es) or Miguel(s), three Kim(s), two Benj(es), two Nathan(s), two Sam(s),  two Thea(s), two Hans(es), and two Kevin(s). Pronounced the same are a Maxx and two Max(es), two Adrian(s) and an Aedrian, an Ina and an Ynah, a Lenard and a Leonard and a Maika and a Micah. Then, there are two Mico(s), a Nico, and a Mica,  a Jade and a Jane, a Colleen and a Koreen, a Marion and a Marianne, a Geno, a Gina and a Janno, a Keeshia and a Keisha, and two Carlo(s) and a Carla. That's 29.7% of the class and the nicknames alone!

There are also those who share the same surnames albeit unrelated, I think. We have two Cruz(es), two Eugenio(s), two Go(s), two Javier(s), two Pascual(s), three Santos(es), two Valera(s), and obviously not the least, five Tan(s). That's 9% of the class!

What we do best.
Photo by Arden Quiambao

Aquinas and Fetal Circulation

I stole this from my former philosophy instructor's ancient Facebook post:

  "According to Aquinas, when the angel in Scripture said, 'Hail, Mary full of grace,' it was the first time in the history of mankind that an angel ever saluted a human being with such respect, because more often than not, human beings fell down cringing in terror and fright at angelic beings-- so otherworldly and powerful were they. But the angel said 'Hail,' only because she is higher than angels, higher even than the six-winged seraphim who guard the sacred throne. And when he said she is full of grace, he meant it--because her blood would mingle with the blood of God, who stayed inside her for nine whole months, while their hearts beat in sync in the same body. The heart of the mother, and the heart of the Son, so intimate, as to be One."

-J. Reyes

There are a few things about this that have been bugging me for more than a year now, but I had to make sure I understood them well enough to say something. A few months ago, I finally did.

Notes on the Bontok's view on relationships between men and women, nudity and sex

(The last of a series)

Of arranged marriages and love

It wasn't mentioned explicitly in the film, but the Bontok appeared to believe in monogamy. There were people who remained unmarried, but they believed in marriage.

The parents arranged the marriages. This did not mean that the Bontok never married for love-- they also did (we'll talk about that later)-- it's just that the parents were the ones who talked and finalized it. Often, it did happen that the couple, especially the woman, did not love the man she was betrothed to, but they would get married anyway in accordance with their parents' wishes.

Medical Ethics is NOT Common Sense

Better view of the letter here

When it's about three major things in your life, you just can't help it.

Almost a year later, this still gets me all fired up. People should know this, and yet they don't. There's still much to say. The vehemence to talk about this more and convince you that this is ethical consumes me.

Notes on the Bontok and work

(The fifth of a series)

One of the factors that may promote the concept of rape is idleness. As they say, idleness is the playground of the devil. A society where people can end up having nothing and doing nothing with their lives is no good in preventing crime.

Work in the fields

In the old Bontoc, there were no unemployed bums who just drank and gambled all day. The Bontok were a hardworking people whose work was central to their daily lives. Everyone able was sent to the fields to work. Those who cannot go to the fields (i.e. the elderly, the disabled) are left in the village to care for the children.

But work in the fields was not just work; it was a social activity. People get to interact while working, like some sort of bonding activity. In fact, it was where the youth fell in love and found their spouses. There was also food: owner of the field provided it as compensation. Perhaps the La Presa community in the hit local teleserye Forevermore is a nice depiction of what it had been like.

Notes on the Bontok gender beliefs

(The fourth of a series)

The restrictions imposed on Bontok women mostly had to do with war. As mentioned earlier, women were not allowed in the male dormitories and this was only because those were the venues for talking about war. Women should not at all be implicated in those matters since:

(1) women should not die in war
(2) women have other more important concerns

Respect for women

It was discussed previously that men were not supposed to kill women during war because the Bontok associates women with life due to their natural capacity to give birth. Women were to be respected for man comes out of her (double meaning unintended!). Precisely because of this was female genitalia not supposed to be gazed upon.

Notes on the Bontok customs of "tribal" war

(Or the third of a series)

Rape of women in the times of war is unavoidable, one of my classes in UP (or maybe UPIS) discussed. It is symbolic of the taking a place, a symbol of overpowering a nation, an exertion of power. That's why in history they call it "the rape of <insert place here>." And as it is said, rape is more of a crime of power than  a sexual crime. During World War II, the Japanese army even established the infamous "comfort stations"-- military-controlled facilities for sexual slavery created especially for the Japanese soldiers-- after the large scale rape of women and girls they committed in Nanking, China. [1]

That's the most horrible thing I ever "learned" in a classroom. War sucks, and it does even more when you're a woman. The scary part is that it is the soldiers that commit most of it. They who have been trained to be disciplined commit the most atrocious acts. That's when you're certain war brings out the worst in humanity.

Notes on the physical structure of Bontok communities

(Or the second of a series)

Previously, it had been suggested that if rape happened in Bontok, it couldn't have been outdoors because they believed that sexual intercourse in a public area would evoke the anger of the spirits, bestowing destruction upon the place. However, the physical structure of their communities wouldn't allow it to happen indoors, either.

Of houses without privacy

Notes on the spiritual and moral beliefs of the Bontok

(Or the first of a series)

Most of Bontok is now Christian, or to be more specific: Roman Catholic-- thanks to missionaries of the colonial period. The elders, however, do not seem to be satisfied with their relatively new faith and report that they were more morally upright in the past.

Being a Christian, I tend to think that it's probably not a matter of cultural superiority that makes pre-Christian Bontok more morally upright. Rather, it is likely that Christianity just has not been taught and understood properly. I do not know how to argue for this position and I will not attempt it here. But I admit that I find this disturbing.

I cannot elaborate on the Bontok's spiritual belief system because the film did not delve into much detail. The details it did present, however, did not stick with me. What I did understand is that they believed in a Higher Being. They performed rituals to please those that they believed in. They had a concept of "evil acts" and also of "acts which anger the spirits"-- both of which are prohibited.

The Bontok implemented their code strictly. They were very clear on what is right and wrong, and took that seriously.

A Series on "Walang Rape sa Bontok"

The eleventh film I watched in the cinema is a documentary entitled Walang Rape sa Bontok, shown in UP Theater. It investigates whether the Bontok culture (the old, declining one) has a concept of rape, for at the outset: (1) they do not have a word for it, and (2) their laws do not have punishment for its commission.

The film identifies six factors that had prevented the emergence of the concept of rape in Bontok:

1. Spiritual and moral beliefs
2. Physical structure of the community
3. Customs of "tribal" war
4. Gender beliefs
5. Views on relationships between men and women, nudity, and sex
6. Work in the field

What I like about it

A Short Reflection on Neurology and Epistemology

Sometimes, med is fun. Last year, Neuro taught us history-taking and neuro exam by making us interact with actual patients in the ward under the supervision of a preceptor. We were, then, individually assigned to write a clinical report. I liked it.

Moments like these remind me why I took this path. I like talking to patients, getting their information and putting together the pieces while figuring out which information I still have to ask. Sometimes, I'd have to discern if they're lying. When I learn enough, I'd have to figure out what illness they have, like solving a puzzle. That's basically what it means to take a patient's history, the most important tool for diagnosis.

If I don’t know what the patient has after I have taken the history, I am in serious trouble.

-Alan Yudelt, MD

Some High School Poems: Behind the Verses

Poetry is not my thing. There are very few poems that I can appreciate, let alone read. But high school has a way of forcing these things upon us, like dancing and electronics. Somehow, we pick up a few of those skills, even if just the basics. So among all the stupid things I wrote, here are the decent two out of three (edited so as not to further embarrass myself), all written in 2008.